Are you withholding?

It was with trepidation that I went to the Awaken festival last weekend. I had asked if I could teach Worshipcise at the event and wasn’t entirely sure if anyone would come. However, I knew how that felt. Two years ago I emailed all the Christian festivals asking if I could come and do Worshipcise there and Creationfest said yes. I thought it was going to be my big break with Worshipcise but as I stood there with only three people attending I felt ashamed and the imposter syndrome kicked in. Why am I doing this, does God even want this? Am I called to do this, or have I just decided this is my calling? I went to my van and prayed about it and heard God say to me, who are you doing Worshipcise for, Me or you? It was then I realized that if I had lots of people there I would have forgotten the whole point which was to worship God, if I was the only person dancing full of the Holy Spirit in a field, wasn’t that worth doing so I could praise and glorify God. So, the next day, I turned my music up loud unashamed and excited to be worshiping God alone or with people, it didn’t matter. A few people did come, (probably 12 all together) and it was amazing but I am so glad God taught me that rather painful lesson even if it was tough at the time. This weekend, Derek spoke about whether we were withholding. I had spent the week before Awaken videoing each Worshipcise song individually so that I could launch a new way of doing the classes, creating playlists that can work for individuals at home and church groups, it hadn’t helped that I had written the date of the festival wrong in my diary so had a week less time to video them all.  I managed to video 63 out of 100 songs and to be honest I was exhausted having also erected 2 2-man tents with my three boys. When he asked if we were withholding, for the first time in a long time I could say no, I’m doing ok in what I am offering God (this week anyway). I felt peaceful going to the class on the Saturday morning as I knew I had done what I needed to do and could therefore give God the rest knowing who came and how they experienced Him in that time was up to Him. I had done my part; He could do His.  Over the weekend I worshiped doing Worshipcise with 126 people, many from my church and although I won’t know what fruit may come from those seeds planted in that time, I felt so blessed to have been a part of other people’s journey with God and it has encouraged me to stop withholding my time, energy and gifts for the glory of God.  He is so so good! What areas of your life are you withholding where God is waiting to bless you?